Dear Barbie: friends come and go

Dear Barbie,

You have no doubt heard the expression “You look like you just lost your best friend.”  Well, I have and I do not know what to do about it.  About two months ago I get an e-mail from this friend saying that our friendship was over, goodbye and don’t call me.  Total surprise to me, we hung out on a pretty regular basis and as far as I was aware everything was fine.  But I e-mailed him back and said I had no idea what was causing this but I would respect his wishes.  I added that if he wanted to talk about it then he should call me.  He hasn’t.  Should I just let it go and accept it or should I make another effort?  Thanks.

Friends No More

Dear “Friends No More,”

Indeed, I have heard this phrase—but I wouldn’t take the situation personal. Friendships come and go throughout our lives, and the ones that stick around are the ones that matter. Initially, you are going to be upset about the email, and who wouldn’t be? Start thinking to yourself, what kind of person is this, what was our friendship like, and does he have any problems with other people? If so, it is probably more his problem than yours. If he is a pretty genuine guy, there is probably a definite reason for the email.

Nevertheless, at this point it really depends on how close you two were; you say you two hung out on a regular basis, but were there other friends that accompanied your hangouts? If so, there may be a “he said/ she said” sort of drama going on here.

Generally, friends don’t break off friendships for no reason. There must be an underlying reason, or something that was said to cause your friend to part ways with you. If this person truly meant a lot to you, contact him with your concerns.  If not, blow it off. As Randolf G. once said, “Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.”

XO,

Barbie

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